Memories in Time
by SpencerRemyLvr
Summary: This is a short story, SLASH, Death of a secondary character in here (NOT Spencer) Walk with Spencer as he visits memories in time in the last days of his lover's Follow him as he looks back and thinks of how they met and how their relationship
1. Chapter 1

**An: We are only dipping slightly into the fandom for "The Sentinel" here. Just a little bit folks, that's all. But for those of you that know the show (if you don't, then go watch it, it's great!) I need you to ah, well, I need you to ignore 'time' lol. TS is in the 90's and CM is later on, but to make the story work and to have Blair?Spencer as friends, I had to kind of _move_ time. So, it doesn't really come up, what year it is, so just pretend that you don't know that TS should really be earlier and that there's no way they would be close to the same age. That's all the fun of an AU, right? Changing time around? :D**

**This is a short story, only a few chapters long, and it does have a death in it, though it is not Spencer, so don't worry. But this is a sad story and, for me, it's a tissue needing story. Cr8zymommy and I wrote this together because, well, we were bored and experimenting and this just kind of gripped us. It'll be updated a chapter a day, or at least that's the plan, and like I said, it's only a few chapters. I hope you enjoy it! We're kind of dipping our toes into a new fandom with this and, if things go over well and people like it and want more, we even have an awesome sequel planned :D So yeah, read on folks and don't forget to R*R and let us know what you think!**

* * *

Light drifted in the window, playing over Spencer's face and drawing him out of sleep with a soft grimace. Half-heartedly he lifted a hand to shield his face and try to block out some of the light. Unfortunately, now that his brain was even just this tiny bit awake, he couldn't drift back towards the blessed comfort sleep quite yet. He scowled against his arm and mentally cursed himself for being way too practical. Yet at the same time he shifted his arm just enough to blink one bleary eye open and seek out the alarm clock. A glance had him scowling even more. Six ten. Ugh.

With a skill born of practice, Spencer dragged his tired and achy body carefully from the bed, not waking a single one of the other occupants. He grabbed his robe off the chair where he'd put it last night and he pulled it on and belted it as he padded quietly down the hallway. First step, he stopped off in the bathroom, taking care of morning rituals for himself. Then he headed to the kitchen where the coffee was already brewed and waiting for him, having been set on a timer. Spencer followed what had become his morning routine, so automatic he could do it mostly asleep. He prepared his first cup of coffee and drank it down as he went about preparing a protein shake. By the time it was ready, he'd already finished his first cup and he quickly prepared his second. Then he carried both it and the shake back down the hall with him.

A yawn slipped out when he was bending to set the glasses on the dresser by the bed. He opened the top drawer and yawned again as he keyed in the code of the small safe in there. In short order, he had the pill bottles out of the safe and the correct medication doses in his hand. He put the bottles away and locked the safe once more. Then he moved over to the side of the bed and set about the task of waking the man lying asleep there. As much as he hated to wake him while he was sleeping so peacefully, he had to make sure he took these meds, before the pain kicked back in too strongly. The doctor said it was important to keep him on schedule so that he remained as pain-free as possible. Or, at least, as close as he got these days.

Spencer took a second as he sat on the edge of the bed to simply look over the man in the bed. As always, his heart gave a lurch at the sight of the sweet face that had come to mean so much to him. He lifted one hand and let his fingers stroke lightly over the soft skin of the man's cheek, marveling as he always did at the contrast between the lightness of Spencer's skin and the skin that was like melted dark chocolate. He cupped the beautiful face, so much thinner than it had been when they'd first met, and he spoke in a soft murmur. "Kamau. C'mon, Kamau, time to wake up a little, sweetheart." He kept up the steady murmur and let his thumb trace over the high cheekbone while he watched his love slowly wake.

A few heavy blinks later and warm, dark eyes were looking at Spencer, lit with the love and light that Spencer loved to see. "Mm." The low rumble was a sound of contentment. "Spencer."

"Yeah, it's just me." Spencer smiled sweetly at him. He couldn't help but lean in and plant a soft kiss on Kamau's lips. "I'm sorry for waking you. It's time for your early morning breakfast and meds." The breakfast was necessary to try and keep the meds from making him too sick.

Kamau's smile grew a little warmer. "Waking to your face is never a hardship, _malaika._"

The sweet words that had once made Spencer blush now meant even more to him. With soft words and gentle hands, he lovingly got his partner through the sometimes arduous task of drinking down his breakfast and swallowing his medications. He noted the difficulty that Kamau was having and felt his stomach twist with the realization that they would soon have to switch to an IV for meds and potentially a feeding tube. Swallowing was just becoming too difficult.

At one point in time, cancer had simply been a word to the young genius. What had once been a disease, albeit a sad one, was now a living, personal monster to him. It had become so very real as he watched it devour someone he loved. As he watched his lover's body turn against him.

Kamau finished swallowing and sighed as he settled back against his pillow. His eyes slid to half mast, but they stayed on Spencer. One of his arms lifted slightly. The weakness in that move, the shakiness in a hand that had always been so strong, was another blow to Spencer's gut. But he let none of it show on the outside. "Come lay with me." Kamau murmured. "I want to hold you, my love."

That was a request Spencer could never refuse. He shed his robe and carefully slid into the bed, making sure to disturb as little as possible as he took the small spot up against Kamau's side. He curled against him and let his head come to rest on Kamau's shoulder, one hand over his heart. He felt Kamau bring an arm around him in return. Though the hold was weak, the love it in was enough to have Spencer sighing happily. He felt a kiss press against his forehead. Neither man said a word. These quiet moments in the early morning were vital to them, like water to the desert. They soaked it up, both of them knowing it would never be enough. It was all they had.

Spencer lay there and felt the beat of the heart under his head. He felt as Kamau's breathing evened back out slightly and he drifted once more down into the relative peace of sleep. The one place that the pain couldn't get to him. And as he slept, Spencer lay awake, remembering. Remembering when he had first met this man who had changed his life. He closed his eyes, a single tear sliding down to drip onto the shirt beneath his face.

* * *

***Seventeen months ago***

The first time Spencer met Kamau, it was at a conference in San Francisco where Blair Sandburg was presenting one of his papers. It was a rather large anthropological get-together and Blair had asked quite a bit in advance if Spencer would come. Of course Spencer agreed. He made sure to put his time-off request in early and to speak to Aaron Hotchner, his Unit Chief, to make sure that he would have the time off. It wasn't often that Spencer was able to see Blair speak and he always loved to do it. Blair was a natural teacher and Spencer enjoyed listening to him talk about any topic. Spencer had always enjoyed listening to the man, even when they were children.

The two had met when Spencer was only five and Blair was six. One afternoon Spencer had been outside, sent there by his Dad to go 'play'—he had snuck a book past him and was settled down in a secluded spot reading instead of playing—and this curly haired little boy had come running past him, laughing hysterically as he chased after the neighborhood cat. But he caught sight of Spencer and had skidded to a stop and backpedaled. With a forwardness that Spencer had come to learn was a part of his character, the kid had grinned and plopped down in front of him, saying "Hi! I'm Blair and I'm six. You wanna come play with me? I wanna take some boxes and build a ship in the backyard and Nini says it's ridiculous, but I think it sounds fun."

Too stunned to really say much, Spencer had found his hand gripped and he was yanked to his feet before he could blink. Blair had dragged him to the backyard next door where he had a whole bunch of broken down cardboard boxes and a roll of duct tape. Immediately he launched into a speech about pirates, and when Spencer had finally found enough courage to correct something Blair said, he was stunned when the other boy simply grinned and said "Really? Cool! Can you tell me more?"

Somehow, Spencer had found himself doing just that, launching into a speech about everything he'd learned about pirates, and to a five year old, it was a _lot_. He'd heard about them and read four books about them at the library, all full of information that he imparted on Blair.

Two hours later, when Diana had come outside calling for her son, she'd found him and Blair with a mostly constructed ship, talking and laughing like the best of friends. The two spent every day together for the next three months until Blair's mom Naomi had come and taken him away, but not before Blair got his phone number and promised to call him, no matter what. For the next few years, Blair came back quite a few times, once even staying for six months with the Reids' instead of with the neighbors, who were friends of Naomi's. As he got older, he started to request staying with Spencer when he was left behind somewhere. The two kept in touch as they grew, the perfect friends for kids who fit in nowhere else. That friendship had stayed strong as they both went to college—Spencer starting at Caltech at thirteen and Blair starting at Rainier at sixteen—and even into adulthood. That friendship was still strong now.

The two had agreed in advance to share a hotel room. Not for cost, but because they didn't want to miss any of their time together. The conference took up the entire weekend and they'd be out and around most of the day, so they wanted to be able to dedicate the nighttime to visiting with one another.

Seeing Blair was always something that Spencer looked forward to. The man was his best friend and there wasn't anyone that Spencer had met in life that understood him the way Blair did. So of course he was excited when he finally arrived at the hotel. He grabbed his single bag from the back of the cab, paid the driver, and turned to head inside. When he hit the lobby, the sheer amount of people all around was staggering. It was like a cultural explosion. Ever awkward in social situations, Spencer drew in on himself just slightly and tried to look around to figure out where, through the crowds, the line to the desk might be. Finally he was sure he'd caught sight of it and he started to make his way forward.

As luck would have it, he didn't have to get into the long line. He was barely across the lobby when a voice called out "Spencer!" There was just enough time for Spencer to turn before he was almost bowled over by his favorite anthropologist. Laughter tickled Spencer's throat. He wrapped his arms around Blair and hugged him close, trying not to get any of the bouncing curls in his mouth when he laughed. The two pulled apart and took hands, grinning at one another. "I'm so glad you made it!" Blair exclaimed happily, squeezing his hands. "Man, you look great!"

"You too." And it was true. Blair was looking fantastic. He was in his element here and it showed in the bright smile that was lighting up his blue eyes. Casting a look around, Spencer turned his gaze back to Blair once more. "Was James not able to make it?"

Blair laughed at that. "He wasn't up for coming. He's down with a cold right now."

"And you actually left him alone?" That was surprising. The two were practically joined at the hip. Spencer still debated sometimes whether it was a brotherly love between them, or the potential for something more. He wasn't quite sure, and he didn't think they were either. But whatever they had, it worked for them.

With a roll of his eyes, Blair let go of Spencer's hands and instead took hold of his arm, drawing him through the crowd. "There was no 'leaving' him. The man practically shoved me out the door. I tried to tell him I'd stay there and take care of him but he just shoved my bag in my hand and pretty much pushed me out the door. You'd think I'd offered to beat him or something!"

"Or something." Spencer laughed out. He reached out and tugged on one of Blair's curls. "He was probably trying to avoid one of your 'cures' you always seem to have."

"Hey! They work, don't they?"

"There are some instances of the cure being worse than the disease, Pip."

It was a familiar argument between them and one that had them laughing by the time they reached the edge of the lobby. Blair had already checked them into the room and had Spencer's key for him, so he took his friend up there and they dumped his bag off. Then they set out together to go downstairs so that Blair could mingle. Despite Spencer's protests that he'd only come to watch Blair and he didn't really need to mingle, he was still dragged down with him. The evening was spent talking with various people, moving from the lobby to the hotel bar. Spencer was introduced to so many people there was no way he would be able to remember all their names.

In that bar was where Spencer got his first look at Kamau. The bar was packed full of people all talking and laughing and exchanging stories. Spencer and Blair were sitting up at the bar itself and Blair was telling a story about an expedition he'd gone on with Eli to the Amazon. It was a story Spencer had heard before, so he mostly tuned it out, taking the time to look around the room instead. People watching was always an enjoyable task for him and there were plenty of interesting people to watch here. But it was the sound of deep, masculine laughter that drew his attention to one side of the room. When his eyes found the source of the laughter, he couldn't help but give a slight hum of appreciation.

The man who was laughing was at the center of a group of people. Everyone was laughing with him and hanging on every word as he obviously told them some story. He towered over the group. Best guess, Spencer figured he had to be anywhere from six foot five to six foot eight, give or take an inch or two. He had absolutely no hair on his head and skin like dark chocolate. Even from this distance, Spencer could see the happiness in the man's brown eyes that showed someone who carried that inner joy for life, much like Blair. A strong, muscular looking body was perfectly encased in tan linen pants, a red tank top, and an African patterned vest. All in all, a figure that was definitely worth looking twice at.

A chin suddenly settled on Spencer's shoulder. Only the familiarity of the touch kept Spencer from jumping. Blair let out a low chuckle right by his ear. "Enjoying the sights, Merry?"

Blush heated Spencer's cheeks. He lifted his glass and took a small sip. "There's plenty to see here." He said noncommittally.

Another chuckle from Blair told him that his friend didn't buy it. With the usual bluntness that permeated their friendship, Blair ignored Spencer's discomfort and said "Want me to introduce you?"

Spencer didn't even get a chance to squeak out an answer because Blair rose from his seat and grabbed Spencer arms, pulling him through people. The whole way over Spencer was trying to plant his feet, break Blair's grip, anything to make him stop. He'd been on the receiving end of Blair's matchmaking efforts far too many times and he really, _really_ didn't want to go through that with this absolutely gorgeous man. The idea had Spencer's cheeks turning even redder. However, despite their difference in size, Blair had quite a bit of strength packed into his compact body and he managed to pull Spencer straight over to the group. Right when they got close, Blair ruined any chances of Spencer getting away by calling out "Hey, Kam! Kam!"

The handsome giant turned toward the sound, already smiling as he did. At the sight of Blair he let out another of those warm laughs and started to work through the group he was with. "Blair!" He called back in a voice that was just as deep and just as warm as his laugh. It sent shivers down Spencer's spine. Oh, good Lord.

When this Kam got close, Blair didn't even let go of Spencer to hug the man. He just stretched up and gave Kam a tight, one armed hug. Up this close, Spencer could see that he'd been pretty close in his height guess. The man had to be about six foot eight. With his sheer size it made Blair look like a child when they hugged.

"Look at you!" Kam exclaimed when he stepped back. "You haven't changed a bit, Blair Sandburg."

Blair grinned and tucked some hair behind his ear. "It's only been, what, six months? Not much time since I last saw you, Kam. But man, you look good too." With a sudden tug, Blair brought Spencer forward, right up against his side. "I'd like to introduce you to my best friend, Dr. Spencer Reid. I've known him since I was a kid."

Those dark eyes turned and Spencer found himself looked over from head to toe and back again. Even to someone with limited social understanding, the appreciation in that look was obvious. "Hello, Dr. Reid." One of his hands came out and Spencer, who usually refrained from shaking anyone's hand, reached out without even thinking about it. "I am Dr. Kamau Atu. It is a pleasure to meet one of Blair's friends."

Somehow Spencer made his voice work, though he was terrified for a minute that he might end up squeaking or something else equally embarrassing. Luckily, his voice came out sounding normal. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Dr. Atu."

"Please, simply Kamau, or Kam, as others call me."

"Only if you call me Spencer."

A soft hum from Blair drew Spencer's eyes to the side. His best friend was almost bursting with his enjoyment in the situation and he was bouncing slightly. With absolutely no shame, Blair blatantly played the part of matchmaker. "Kam, would you mind entertaining Spencer for a while? I see Tara over there and I've got to talk to her about my presentation tomorrow."

While Spencer flushed, Kamau smiled. "But of course, Blair. It would be my pleasure."

"Great!" Blair gave Spencer a quick hug, whispering "Good luck!" in his ear before he took off through the crowd, leaving his friend glaring after him.

Kamau saw the glare and let out another laugh. "He is quite a person, our friend Blair. I have never met someone with so much personality packed into such a small package." His eyes twinkled as he looked down at Spencer. "Or who is so blatant in his efforts to put two people together."

Though he hadn't known it was possible, Spencer's cheeks heated even more. He bit his lip and dropped his eyes down. "He can be smooth, when he wants. Most of the times he just doesn't see the need."

"Well, either way, I will have to thank him later."

Spencer's eyes flashed up at that. He found Kamau watching him and smiling and butterflies took off in Spencer's stomach. When Kamau asked "Would you like to join me for a short walk outside, Spencer?" all he could do was nod stupidly. Yet he followed Kamau out the side doors of the bar and onto the patio area. There were people milling about here as well, walking through the gardens that the hotel sported. Kamau led the way into the garden area, strolling easily and casually, and Spencer kept pace beside him. The air was just starting to chill slightly, yet it still felt nice enough to enjoy the slowly setting sun.

"So, you are a doctor." Kamau tilted his head, an interested look on his face. "Are you an anthropologist like Blair?"

Spencer shook his head and took a small drink from his glass. "No, I find the subject interesting, but I never studied it. I'm only here because I like watching Blair speak."

"He is a talented speaker. He has a way of capturing his audience, no matter who they are. What is your degree in, then?"

Though Spencer was usually uncomfortable answering questions about himself, his education was one area that he'd gradually learned through his years at the BAU not to be ashamed of. The team, as well as Blair, had all worked with him to realize that he had a right to be proud of his accomplishments. So he fund it easier than he would've just a few years ago to be able to answer that question. "I have Ph.D.'s in mathematics, chemistry and engineering."

That answer brought on the usual surprise, though Kamau only showed it by raising his eyebrows. "That is quite an accomplishment. You must enjoy learning."

It was Spencer's turn to look surprised. Most people went into questions about his intelligence, or got slightly awkward when he told them his degrees. Some even asked his IQ. Kamau was the first to make such a simple, yet true, comment. Spencer found himself responding just as truthfully. "I do. My mother taught me a day is wasted if we don't learn something and I've always taken that to heart."

"My mother taught me to love knowledge as well. She and my father wanted me to be able to learn. When my mother was pregnant with me, they moved to the states, to a small town in Oregon. They believed I would receive better education here in America." Turning slightly, Kamau led them over to a bench that was tucked back in the corner of the gardens. There was still an easy view of the hotel patio, and people milling around them, but it gave their conversation an almost intimate setting.

Spencer crossed his legs and cradled his glass in his hands, trying to work past his usual shyness. He was enjoying listening to Kamau talk. "So you grew up in Oregon, then?"

Kamau shook his head. "When I was ten, my father passed away and my mother took me back home with her to Kenya, where her brother lived. We lived there until my mother passed away on my eighteenth birthday."

"I'm sorry." Spencer murmured. They were the only words he could think of to say and they seemed so inadequate and awkward.

Kamau didn't seem to find them inadequate, though. He gave Spencer an honest smile. "Thank you." He said. "It was hard for me. I wasn't even home when it happened. By then, I was already in college, studying anthropology."

"At eighteen? You must've started college young."

"Only at seventeen. You must've started college young yourself, to have three doctorates already to your name."

Once more Spencer found himself blushing. He couldn't help but curse in his head. Good Lord, how many times was he going to blush tonight? He was acting worse than a schoolgirl! Yet he couldn't seem to stop that reaction. He tried to ignore it and focus on the conversation. "I ah, I started college when I was thirteen."

"Thirteen?" Kamau let out a laugh of surprise that didn't make Spencer feel mocked. Instead, it warmed him. "I get the feeling that I haven't heard all of your education, Spencer. I may be wrong, but I have a feeling there's more to your education than you've admitted so far. How many degrees do you have?"

"Six." He couldn't help but smile now as well while Kamau laughed yet again. "I have the three I told you, plus B.A.'s in psychology, sociology and philosophy."

"I knew there had to be more to it. Your family must be very proud of you. You've done your mother's teachings proud."

The compliment had Spencer's butterflies dancing again. "Thanks."

"What is it you do for work, then, with all of that knowledge?"

"Actually, I'm a profiler. I work in the behavioral analysis unit at the FBI."

"A profiler?"

That started a conversation that was easy for Spencer and helped him relax. He got into what he was saying as he described for Kamau the type of work he did. Kamau asked questions, too, drawing him further and further out until Spencer found himself discussing cases. Just like with Blair, Kamau's anthropological background gave him interesting insight into a case and the two fell into a few deep discussions. Before long, Spencer forgot his nerves entirely, simply enjoying the company.

He had a _wonderful_ evening. They spoke easily, never lacking for something to say. And he learned quite a bit about the other man, too. At some point their conversation had turned from work to more personal things and Spencer learned that Kamau was a thirty nine year old widower. He found himself listening as Kamau spoke of his late wife, Madaha, who had passed away two months prior while giving birth to their third child, a boy named Talib. His oldest child was a two and a half year old boy named Sekayi. Next in line came his daughter, his pride and joy, one year old Ayanna. They even talked about how he'd met his wife and the relationship they'd shared.

"I met her when I was at the University." Kamau confided. "I was so eager to learn and so full of myself. She was graceful and beautiful and just the type of woman my family believed I should be with. My Uncle spoke with her family and it was decided that a wife was what I needed to 'settle me down', as they put it. Madaha and I were friendly and we both approved of the marriage. She knew I wanted to be an anthropologist and she wanted to travel the world, to see so much. So, we agreed, and we were married. There was love between us, we just were never _in love_, you understand?"

"I think I do." Spencer agreed quietly.

Kamau had paused after this. He'd turned towards Spencer, giving him a curious look. When Spencer only looked back at him just as curiously, Kamau had laughed. "You are unique, Spencer. The idea that I was married, of me having children, it doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it?" Spencer asked with confusion.

"Not many would want to court time with someone who is widowed and also a parent."

Spencer shrugged one shoulder, still honestly confused. "I don't know why. It's all a part of you. Why should it change anything?"

His words had brought a wide, pleased smile to Kamau's face. "Why indeed."

"Where are your kids now?" Spencer asked curiously. He flushed suddenly at his own forwardness. "I mean, I was just…I was just wondering, that's all .You don't have to actually answer that…"

A warm hand settled on Spencer's thigh, cutting him off mid ramble and deepening the blush in his cheeks. Kamau's smile warmed even more. "It is fine, Spencer. I don't mind questions. A good friend of my late wife traveled with us to the convention and she's staying with the children while I do this. She told me, in no uncertain terms, to socialize tonight and not to return to the room until I've had a good time." One of Kamau's hands came up, fingertips brushing lightly over Spencer's cheek, sending a shiver down his spine. Those dark eyes pinned him in place and nothing could've made Spencer look away. A bomb could've gone off behind him and he would've stayed there, staring up into Kamau's eyes, lost in what he saw there and what it sparked inside of him. He knew what was coming and oh, he _wanted_ it. Wanted it so much. It had been so long since he'd felt anything good. So long since he'd felt this kind of instant attraction. When Kamau leaned in, Spencer found himself holding his breath, waiting silently. The hand on his cheek curved, cupping his face now, and the man leaned in just a little more. "And I am having a very, very good time." He said in a husky murmur. Then he closed that last little bit of distance between them and their lips were pressed together in a kiss that sent heat arrowing straight through Spencer.

Public displays of affection were not typically Spencer's thing. Well, it wasn't so much that it wasn't his thing, but more that he'd never found someone who actually _wanted_ to indulge in them with him. He was far more used to being a person that they might pick up and take somewhere private; not the type that they'd let other people see them with. But Kamau didn't seem to have any problems with it. He drew back from the gentle, sweet kiss and he stroked his hand softly over Spencer's cheek.

Something passed between their eyes as they sat there. Sparks leapt to life, starting a low blaze deep down inside, and when Kamau rose to his feet and held his hand out, Spencer knew exactly what was being offered. There was only a moment's hesitation, a moment where his usual shyness reared its head and his insecurities made him wonder if this was something he really wanted to do or if he would only make a fool of himself. Then he saw the heat in that dark gaze, all that heat just for _him_, and there was no other choice he could make. He let his worries melt away and a smile curve his lips. Reaching up, he took Kamau's hand and let himself be led away.


	2. Chapter 2

***Present***

Chaos briefly reigned through the house as a car pulled into the front drive. Spencer shook his head and couldn't quite stifle a laugh as he watched the three children start to bounce and call out excitedly from the picture window in the living room. The sound was what had clued him in to the car arriving. He knew that the three had been in the window seat watching and waiting. They'd been planning this day for weeks now and they were all looking forward to it. Drying his hands on a kitchen towel as he came into the living room, Spencer smiled at the three faces that turned towards him. "Baba Spencer! Baba Spencer! They're here!" Sekayi called out.

Spencer smiled at the excitement on the four-year-old's face. He reached out when he got close and ran a hand over the short shaved dark hair. "So they are. Why don't you take Ayanna and Talib down to your Baba and tell him goodbye while I let them in, hm? Be gentle, though. Baba's a little sore today."

The three took off down the hall together, Sekayi and Ayanna holding on to Talib's hands so the nineteen month old could toddle along with them. He was getting better at walking every day with his siblings helping him practice. His two and a half year old sister seemed to be making it her personal duty to help Talib in his steps.

While they headed down to the bedroom, Spencer headed toward the door, flinging the towel over his shoulder. He opened the door wide before the knock could sound. At the sight of his friends coming up the walkway, he grinned and instantly stepped out, arms open to catch JJ as she walked right up to him and pulled him into a hug. "Hey, Spence!" She pulled back and grinned at him, reaching out to flick at his towel. "Aren't you just looking domestic?"

He flushed a little and shook his head at her. "I was washing lunch dishes, thank you very much." Still smiling, Spencer turned to greet the other two. Will came up behind JJ with five year old Henry balanced on his hip. "Hey, Spencer." Will greeted him in that smooth Louisiana drawl. At the same time, Henry bounced and called out "Hi, Uncle Spencer!"

Spencer greeted him with a hug as well, much more comfortable with such gestures than he'd been even a year ago. "Hey, Will. Hey, Henry!" He stepped back and gestured for them to follow him in. "Come on inside. The kids are down saying goodbye to Kamau right now. I've got their overnight bags packed and ready in the bedroom, so they should be ready to go."

"Sounds great, Spence." JJ said.

They followed him inside and into the kitchen. He offered them drinks, which they politely declined, and he took a minute to hang the towel back up. Just then the kids came walking back in and a few minutes were taken up with greetings exchanged all around. Then it was time to get everyone in coats and hats and then the exchange of car seats from one car to the van. It was as Will was strapping kids in that JJ took a moment to step up to Spencer and wrap him in a one-armed hug. He hugged her back and smiled at the woman who was like a sister to him. "I really appreciate you taking the kids for the night, JJ. They've been so excited about it."

"It's not a problem, Spence." She hurried to reassure him, yet again. "You two deserve a night alone." She paused, turning fully to look at him. "How're you guys doing?"

He sighed at the familiar question. It wasn't that he minded her asking it—he appreciated how much his friends cared—he just didn't like to think on it. "We're doing okay. Taking it day by day, the best we can. We've made him comfortable and right now, that's the best we're going to get. It's enough."

"And what about you? How're _you_ handling things?"

"Honestly?" Looking up, he watched Ayanna get lifted into her seat, noting almost absently that one of the bows in her hair was starting to come loose. _Imagine me, thinking about hair bows. Who would've ever guessed?_ That inane thought had him shaking his head to clear it. He looked down at JJ again and found her watching him intently, waiting for the rest of his answer. Sighing, he shrugged a shoulder. "Honestly, I'm not really handling things for me right now. I've got too many other things to do. Neither Kamau nor I want the extra help from the hospital or hospice, so I take care of things. Between his care and caring for the kids and the house, I'm pretty well busy, and what time I have free, I spend with him."

"Spence…you've got to take care of you, too." She pointed out.

He shrugged one shoulder and stuffed his free hand down into his pocket. "I'll take care of me later. I've only got months left with him, JJ. I'm not wasting a single moment of it."

The arm around him tightened. Briefly she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Spence. I hate this. I hate that you have to go through this."

There was nothing he could say to that. He simply hugged her back, letting her know without words how much he appreciated the gesture. But then Will moved away from the van and Spencer walked up to the door to say one last goodbye to the children. He kissed and hugged each one, loving the smiles they wore. "Now, you guys be good for JJ and Will, all right? Listen and stay out of trouble. I'll see all of you tomorrow."

I-love-you's were exchanged and a few more kisses and then Spencer was standing back and watching as the van pulled out of the driveway. He watched them until they were gone down the street and then he made his way back inside. Once in, he methodically shut the house down, locking the doors and making sure the windows were shut. Then he headed down the hall to the bedroom. The whole purpose of JJ taking the kids for the night was so that Kamau and Spencer could have a night to themselves, just to be together. Even if all they did was sleep, the two needed this time, and he wasn't going to waste a second of it.

When he reached the bedroom, he found Kamau sound asleep, as he spent most of his days anymore. It seemed that he slept more and more as time went on. Though the doctor had warned them that it would happen, it didn't make it any easier to see. It was a physical ache, watching his lover waste away. Watching as the cancer killed him little by little. There were times like this were Kamau looked almost peaceful, asleep and minus the pain that dogged him while he was awake. And then there were times that he was up and hurting and Spencer wished with everything inside of him that there was something he could do to ease this for him.

How the hell had so much changed in three months? That's how long it had been since Kamau had first gone to the doctor for what they'd thought was a cold and cough that just wouldn't seem to go away. _Three months_. It looked more like _years_ had gone by. The body that had once been firm and fit now still carried the old signs of muscles, but it was thinner, sometimes shakier. Now, Kamau needed a steady schedule of pain medication just to make it through the day as the cancer made every part of his body ache. There was no treatment for the stage his cancer was at. Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer, already spread out in his bones. They'd offered him chemo, though they told them that it wasn't curable anymore, only treatable. All they could do was palliative care. Just making him comfortable until…until the end. It was the best anyone could offer. Though it had taken them long to decide it, they'd both agreed that chemo would only keep him in pain even longer. With as bad as the doctors said it was already, they didn't want to draw this out. Didn't want Kamau suffering, or for the children to watch him suffer.

_It isn't fair_ Spencer's mind whispered. They were words he'd said so many times over the past three months. _This isn't fair. Not to him, and not to me. I've only known him for seventeen months. I've only been living with him for ten. That's not long enough! I need more time with him. I need _him_!_

He pushed back the painful thoughts as best as he could. He would not spoil their alone time by thinking of what was coming. Instead, he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into the bed, drawing the covers up and over his body. Then he curved his body and stretched out sideways from their bed to Kamau's bed. Just a few weeks past, they'd purchased a hospital bed at the doctor's suggestion, bringing it in and setting it up right next to their bed. With the side rail down, it allowed their beds to sit flush against one another. It allowed Kamau to sleep propped up in the elevated bed, making it easier for him to breathe, while still allowing him to sleep 'with' his family. It made some of his care easier, too.

Spencer stretched out now over the two beds, bringing his head to rest in Kamau's lap. From that position he was able to look up and watch his lover's sleeping face. He refused to let himself think of the future and what was waiting for him, so instead he drifted back into the past.

Earlier he'd been thinking of when they first met. How Blair had basically pushed them together and the sparks that had instantly flown. Spencer wasn't an impetuous type; sleeping with someone the first night he met them was _not_ his typical style. Yet it had felt right with Kamau. It hadn't felt like a fling, either. Not to either one of them. It had felt like—like a _start_. When the weekend was over and they went home, they exchanged contact information as well.

Spencer had hoped that he would hear from the man, but he hadn't expected too much. He didn't believe that he would be able to hold someone's interest long-distance, especially someone like Kamau. Yet only a few days had gone by before the man called. From there, they fell into an easy pattern, talking every single day for the next few months. A few times Spencer had even spoken to Sekayi, the oldest of the kids. Kamau and Spencer really got to know each other over that time. Little by little, day by day, Spencer found himself falling for the cheerful man on these phone calls that almost felt like dates.

When, two months after they first met, Kamau came to DC to speak at Georgetown, Spencer had been absolutely thrilled. He'd requested the time off, wanting to dedicate as much of his time as he could to the man, and he'd eagerly planned for the visit while at the same time becoming absolutely terrified at the idea of meeting the man's children. Kamau never traveled anywhere without them. That meant that Spencer was going to be meeting them for the very first time on this trip and even he knew just how big a deal that was. They were so very important to Kamau, naturally so. But they were all so _young_ and that terrified Spencer. He'd made a comment once, sort of joking, that the kids were awfully close together in age. Kamau had taken it as a compliment on his virility while also explaining that he and his wife had been raised not to believe in birth control. They'd never thought to use it.

Smiling, Spencer watched Kamau's face and let the memories of that first meeting drift over him, taking him back in time fifteen months to a hotel room in downtown DC.

* * *

***Fifteen Months Ago***

Was there anything worse than nerves? Spencer stood in front of the door of Kamau's hotel room and tried to gather up the courage to actually _knock_. He'd been standing here already for a good five minutes and he hadn't been able to make himself knock yet. _If someone comes walking into the hall, I'm going to look like an idiot just standing here staring at a door _he chided himself. Yet those damn nerves kept him from bringing his hand up. _I don't know if I can do this! This…it's huge. It's a huge deal. I haven't seen him for two months. What if he sees me again and the face to face isn't as good as what we had on the phone? What if he decides he doesn't want someone like me? And his kids! Kids don't like me! What kid in their right mind would want me around their Dad?_

Spencer had to fight to keep from just turning tail and running away. He wasn't going to let his fear rule him. He could do this. He could! This was simpler than he was making it out to be. Just, knock on the door, go inside and have a good time. Talk with Kamau, something that had proved so very easy. Say hello to the kids. All three kids were under three, it wasn't like they were going to be up for scintillating conversation. Henry was four and he was easy enough to be around. If he could handle his Godson, then he could handle these kids. Right? _Oh, I hope so._

Before he could lose the little courage he'd gained in that pep talk, Spencer lifted his free hand up and finally knocked on the door. There was the sound of movement from the room and then there was no more time to back out; the door opened and Kamau stood in front of him wearing a broad grin. "Spencer!"

It seemed the most natural thing to step into the arms that opened in front of him. Spencer's nerves faded to the background as he was enfolded in a tight embrace. While he was used to people being larger than him in body frame and muscles, it was a novel sensation to have someone who was also _taller_ than him. The height difference allowed Spencer to tuck his head right against Kamau's shoulder with his face buried against his neck. Being held so close there brought to mind the memories that were never too far from the surface. As he remembered the moments they'd shared during that eventful weekend, he couldn't help the little shiver that ran down his spine. A low chuckle told him that Kamau had felt and understood that shiver.

When Spencer finally pulled back, he only had a second to breathe before his lips were taken in a kiss that was both 'hello' and a promise for later. Then Kamau stepped away and he led a slightly dazed Spencer into his room. It wasn't until they were fully in the room and Spencer caught sight of the other occupants that his nerves came back tenfold. A bassinette was set up alongside the edge of a large, king sized bed. In the bassinette was a sleeping infant, who was being watched over by two toddlers that were lying on the bed.

The little girl turned at the sound of their footsteps and immediately hurried to scramble towards the edge of the bed. In a move that looked well-practiced, Kamau stepped forward and scooped her up before she could actually manage to get up and put herself in danger of falling. He pretended to throw her up slightly before settling her on his hip, earning him a bright laugh. Not one to be left out, the little boy hopped up as well and was picked up one handed by his Dad to be lightly tickled before settling onto the other hip. Then Kamau turned towards Spencer, his smile was and proud. "Spencer, let me introduce you to my little terrors. This here is my little Ayanna, and this is my Sekayi. Can you two say hello to Spencer?"

Sekayi looked him over with all the curiosity of an almost-three-year-old before he said "Hello!" But Ayanna flashed him a grin that matched her Dad's and called out a cheerful "Hi! Hi!" as she bounced.

Nerves and a hint of embarrassment mixed with slight discomfort and Spencer could only bring himself to raise a hand and give a small wave as he said "Hello." His greeting brought smiles from all three of them that had him smiling just a little without even realizing it. He was a little caught up in looking them over. The similarities were obvious between them. There was absolutely no denying that they were related. Sekayi carried the look of his father to him, almost like a miniature version of Kamau. Same eyes, same nose, same curve to the lips, even the same little dimple on his right cheek. He even had the same buzzed haircut. Ayanna had some of her father in her face. But more, he thought it might be the inside that was the same for them. She had the same brightness to her eyes and her smile that Kamau did, like she was lit with some kind of inner joy. Her features were softer than the others, slightly smoother, and Spencer wondered if she took after her mother. Was that where she got the little cupids bow lips, so different from the full smiles her brother and father shared?

The moment might've grown long or awkward, Spencer not quite sure what to say or do, if it hadn't been for Ayanna. She stretched on Kamau's hip and reached out for Spencer. Without consulting him, Kamau stepped forward and Spencer found his arms suddenly full of a squirming toddler. He needn't have worried about holding her. At fourteen months, Ayanna was well versed in grabbing on and hanging on. She perched right on his hip, one hand coming out to fist in his vest while the other went up to thread in his hair. She twisted her hand around for a moment until her fingers were completely twined in his hair and then she laid her head against his shoulder and brought her thumb up to her mouth. Spencer looked down at her in bemusement. She'd simply leeched on and made herself right at home. There was no way he was getting free from that grip on his hair without some serious work and potential hair loss. When he looked up, he found Kamau setting Sekayi on the bed, though he was grinning at Spencer. "I think she likes you."

"I, ah, well…" Trailing off, Spencer looked down at the curly black hair against his shoulder. He looked helplessly back up at Kamau. "Thanks?"

Kamau laughed again and straightened up. It gave Spencer a second to admire him alone. He was dressed in the linen pants that he'd told Spencer he favored, for they were both loose and comfortable, and a plain white tank top. It made it easy to see the obvious muscles wrapped around that well-toned body. A low hum built in the back of Spencer's throat. He remembered what that body had looked like without the clothes in the way. He remembered the feel of all that strength underneath his hands, over his body, pushing against him and into him and…firmly he cut those thoughts off at the pass. While holding a child was no time to sit and fantasize about something like that.

A spark in Kamau's eyes suggested that he'd caught something of Spencer's thoughts on his face. With a silent look he let Spencer know that he was thinking the same. Then he drew in a breath and the heat faded from his face, leaving only the warmth that Spencer was beginning to realize was normal for him. "I was just about to settle in with the children and watch a movie so that they might nap. Would you like to join us? Afterwards, maybe you can show us around this town of yours."

"I'd like that."

That was how Spencer found himself curled up in the king sized bed. Kamau propped himself up against the pillows at the headboard and Spencer tucked in against his side, reclining half on his chest. Ayanna refused to let go of him, already mostly asleep, so Spencer let her stay there. Sekayi sprawled between Spencer and Kamau's legs, face turned towards the TV where Kamau had put on 101 Dalmatians. And if Spencer felt slightly awkward holding on to a child, well, all he had to do was tip and look up at the man he was snuggled against, the man he'd started to fall for these past few months as they spoke on the phone, and it was all worth it.

* * *

***Present***

"Mm. You must be thinking good thoughts, to put a smile like that on your face."

The husky voice interrupted Spencer's trip down memory lane and brought him back to the present moment. He blinked his eyes a few times to clear them and found Kamau staring down at him, one corner of his mouth quirked up. One of his hands shifted to his lap and started to stroke Spencer's hair. In a move that had his lover chuckling, Spencer arched into the touch and let his eyes drift shut a little. He loved having his hair played with. Enjoying the sensation and watching Kamau through half-lidded eyes, he finally answered his statement. "I was thinking about the day you guys came to DC, when I first met the kids."

"Wondering why you didn't run for the hills while you still had the chance?" Kamau teased.

Chuckling, Spencer turned his head enough to press a kiss against a blanket covered hip. "If only I'd known then about the diapers, or the random food I'd find squashed into things…"

"Or how you'd lose custody of your own hair."

That made them both laugh lightly. Ayanna still had a thing for Spencer's hair. She loved nothing more than curling up on his lap with a hand twisted in his hair. Any time she fell asleep on him, it took him and Kamau both to detangle her fingers without pulling out some of Spencer's hair. It was one of the many things they joked about, but it was also one of the many things that Spencer secretly loved. He loved how easily and quickly Ayanna had attached herself to him. She'd tangled around his heart just as surely as she tangled in his hair. Sekayi had been a little slower to accept Spencer in his life, mostly because he still held memories of his mother. But it had been Sekayi who had coined Spencer nickname, not long after he'd moved in. That had been the true sign to him that he'd been accepted by the whole family.

Kamau carded his fingers through Spencer's hair in a steady, soothing pattern. His eyes took on a slightly distant look as he too drifted back in his memories. "You were so nervous around them at first."

"Of course I was." Spencer agreed immediately. "The only child I'd dealt well with up until then was Henry and he was entirely different. He grew up knowing me as my weird self. Kids who don't know me are often uncomfortable around me."

"You did fine with them."

"Except for Talib."

That brought a soft smile to Kamau's face. Spencer hadn't been at all comfortable holding the young infant. He hadn't grown comfortable until Talib was around six months old. Thankfully, Kamau had never prodded the point, saying simply that it was fine and that some people just didn't deal well with infants. Now, he smiled down at Spencer and brushed his fingers over his forehead. "You got better. Once he was less fragile looking to you, you were much better with him."

The fragile part had been a big thing for him. Talib had been delivered two months premature. Though he'd been born in good health and released after only two weeks at the hospital, he was small for his age and the doctors said he might always be that way. There were other things they would have to watch for as he grew. The doctors worried about his breathing from early on and they were monitoring it carefully. All of that had combined to give him a fragile look to Spencer's eyes and he'd been unable to stop from worrying that he would do something wrong if he held on to the little boy. So he'd held back, kept his awkward touch to himself, until Talib was close to six months old. Then the little boy had given him no true choice in the matter. He'd crawled to Spencer and no one else had come to the rescue, leaving the young genius no choice but to pick him up. Just like his sister, Talib had latched on to Spencer, only he hadn't curled up to sleep. No, he'd perched against him and babbled that baby talk while trying to look at everything at once. Kamau had told Spencer once that Talib meant 'seeker', and they'd named him so because he'd been looking around at things from the instant he was born. It was a well suited name. Talib seemed to seek out everything and he wanted to know all about it. Spencer had spent many hours with the little boy, exploring everything in their path. Even though Talib didn't understand the long winded rambles that Spencer gave, the little boy would still listen and babble back at him.

Shifting his weight around, Spencer took a second and stretched his legs, working out the slight kinks that had built. He sighed back down into the bed, totally at peace in the moment. There was nothing he loved more than curling up in bed with Kamau. Comfortable and relaxed, he pressed another kiss to Kamau's thigh. "I did get better, I'd like to think." Spencer finally responded to Kamau's comment. "But at the beginning, I didn't know what to do with myself around them. I was so nervous that week. It was a big deal for me, to have you visiting."

"We were not visiting." Kamau reminded him.

That had Spencer chuckling. "No, you weren't." Though he hadn't known it at the time, Kamau had come to DC with a plan in mind. He'd let Spencer go through a whole week thinking that this was just a visit. They'd enjoyed one another's company, went and saw all the sights, and had an all-around wonderful week. But when it was close to over, when they were all out as a group to have dinner, Kamau had surprised him. He'd told Spencer that there was an opening at Georgetown in the anthropology department and he was going to take the position. "You shocked me. I couldn't believe you were going to be so close."

"I wanted to be close to you. You already had my heart then, love, even if the words had not been said yet. I just needed to wait for you to catch up with me."

It was more than Spencer could resist; he shifted and slid his body up so that he could stretch and take a kiss. The kiss started out sweet, a gentle touch that shared all their love, all their emotions. The next was a little warmer, a little deeper, and Spencer found himself pulled in close. He lifted one of his legs and easily straddled his partner's hips to get more comfortable and a better angle to kiss him even deeper. He felt hands settle on his hips and he hummed happily into their kiss.

They broke apart to let them both breathe. Kamau's eyes locked on his and the heat there hit Spencer straight in the gut. Those warm hands slid up his hips, underneath the hem of his shirt and across the smooth skin of Spencer's sides, making him shiver happily. "Let me love you, _malaika_. Let me love you. It's been too long."

"_Yes._" There was no other answer. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Tipping enough to look into Kamau's face, Spencer smiled and reached down for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before tossing it aside. "Always love you, Kama. Always.


End file.
